Thursday, August 12, 2010


NOTE TO READERS: This entry to my blog seems to be quite a rambling's been in my head and heart for a couple days now. I finally found the time to sit and put it all down "on paper". It's a lot of thoughts, and while I try to keep them in check sometimes my thoughts do follow bunny trails..... hope you really get the meaning and that you too will find some reality in your lives!!

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So, I'm at home almost daily. I work out of the house 2 days a week, helping take care of a young man with cerebral palsy. It isn't a hard job, he is quite independent. No, I actually work this job to get out of my house away from the stress that inhabits therein.
On the days I am home, 3 of those days my sweet hubby is gone for 11 hours each day..... which leaves me with 2 strong willed children, and his mom (who, if you are a new follower --"Hey there Mrs. Woog" --has dementia and needs pretty much total care).

Now that in itself is stress inducing, but for some reason I like to take it to another level and actually try and teach my two strong willed girlies some sort of life skills. Like honesty, cleanliness, responsibility, love and patience. Heaven help me if I ever find a day where they actually want to learn! Most days at home I work at keeping GP (Grandma Patty) comfy, with a good tv show or coffee or snacks (and sweaters even tho our house is 75 degrees F). I keep the house in some semblance of sanity and cleanliness (the hubs is a GREAT helper there) and keeping the kiddoes busy and OUT OF TROUBLE!! Thankfully they are at an age where they can play alone or together without constant supervision, although if it's too quiet for too long I get out the waders and go looking for them.

No, my reality has set in recently due to two different happenings this past week. You see I can be a bit of a complainer (hence the blog peoples), and an all around stressor of epic proportions. I don't care for the strong wills of my kiddoes, I don't quite know how to deal some days with the constant " I know more than my parents do" mindset of them! There are times I have even thought about boot camp, boarding school or heaven help her "grandma's house" (you really have to know my mom to understand the strictness of that option) for my 6 year old. Just so I could get some sort of a break from the mind games.

The reality is, she is strong willed. Also, I'm determined to love her through it and help her become a better person because of her strong will and determination. I Love her! I do, I Do, I DO!!! I should be VERY thankful for her, she is strong (both mentally and physically), she is beautiful (so much on the outside, we are really working on her inside) and she is talented! Yet there are days where I want to do the above, IN THE WORST WAY!!!!

Then I meet people like Daniel. He's a 26 year old young man that goes to our church. He has cancer. Not "just" cancer, but a very large cancerous tumor on his face. A very handsome face, if you see pics from when he was in high school. A face that you cannot see anymore because it is almost all hidden by this tumor. The doctors have treated it for 5 years now with some good results. They were able one time to shrink it down and remove the tumor (along with the eye, jawbone, cheek bone and most of his nose). It came back, and the radiation/chemo treatments are not doing anything to it. You know what? He isn't sitting at home complaining about his pain, his lack of good looks, his wanting an easier life to live. NO! He goes around talking about what God has done for him, about the people he has been able to encourage and help. No boohoos for him (I'm sure he has his days like all of us).

Or, I meet someone like Mason. I had the chance to take the girlies into McD's this past week for a quick lunch before going to the library.... we were waiting for our food to come up and this little boy comes over and starts talking to us. One of his first statements to me was, "You look like a really nice person, I don't have any friends." He said that more than once, and I was pretty shocked. One that he would come up and talk to total strangers, two that he would be so open and honest, and three that he was alone in the McD's (his stepdad was out having a smoke). We got our things and went to sit down. He was a few tables away.... he said, "I'd really like to keep talking to you, do you mind if I sit here?" and he pointed to a table next to ours. He got himself situated and I began to hear his story. He's 7, lives in three different places (sometimes with his mom, sometimes with dad and sometimes on the road with his stepdad), he is repeating the 1st grade ("cause my teacher likes me so much") and he doesn't have any friends any more. What an earful, and an eyeful.... he was dirt from head to toe (he'd been camping for the past 2 wks), and his front teeth were rotten and worn down. Yet, his eyes were bright and he was very articulate for a 7 yr old.

As we were leaving (he wanted to walk out with us, I think he would have come home with us) he climbed into the van where his stepdad was waiting and said "good bye" over and over to us. I left there thinking what a juxtaposition of lives.

jux·ta·po·si·tion   [juhk-stuh-puh-zish-uhn]
–noun act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast.

Here I am with two willful girls, yet they are healthy, they are not in pain, they are clean, well fed, have a stable home with a mom and dad, they have friends, they are smart, they are what the world would call beautiful (I'd rather have that on the inside than out), they don't have need for anything and they are loved!!

So the reality is.... I need to just get a grip and live a more thankful life, and realize the blessings in my life could be taken away at any moment so I'd better cherish them while I CAN!!
Thanks Daniel, for the testimony and the sharing. Thanks Mason, for the reminder that not all children have it as good as my kiddoes and that I should love 'em as they are, everyday.

Have you had any reminders lately that spoke to your weaknesses? How do you deal with them? Oh, and any help with the girly "training" is always appreciated, as long as it is constructive and not judgmental.....I'm always looking and reading in search of the "holy grail" of child psychology!!

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