On November 6th, almost 9 years ago....
We welcomed a beautiful, big headed (I don't mean inflated ego here, I mean LITERALLY a big head) bald, blue eyed 8 lb 3 oz little girl into our family. Well, she basically made us a family, instead of just a couple.
The "troubles" didn't start until about 8 months...I kid you not! She was wanting to walk so badly, she would toddle around the furniture and such, but she just couldn't quite GO! So, being the great mom and dad that we were we would hold her little hands and just walk her all over the apartment. For what seemed HOURS! The back-breaking effort was taking it's toll, so we bought a push toy...that would give us some relief...or so we thought.
The beautiful, little girl did NOT want to push the toy around and toddle on her way around the apartment...oh no! That, dear readers, would've been the end of the story if our darling daughter didn't take this opportune time to display....her stubborn side! She laid herself down right on the floor behind that push toy and kicked her chubby little legs, and pounded her round little fists and cried her big head off!! NOT JOKING FOLKS!! At 8 months old, my darling, giggling, smiling little daughter threw a temper tantrum!
I looked at thisdemon darling child, took one large step over her body and walked away, shaking my head and mumbling something about "Oh, Lord, this is not going to be fun is it?!".....
Fast forward to this time and place...my oldest is still beautiful, big headed (more so ego now), blonde curled and the biggest blue eyes. She has spent the first 8 years of her life teaching us that we do have the strength, with God's blessed help, to do this parenting thing! We haven't always done it willingly (I think I've threatened the Mister with running away more than she's threatened us), or well...but we have done it!
We have read, listened to, researched online and questioned other parents about how to deal with strong willed, defiant, intelligent (oh, yes she is) & mouthy children. We have cried, grumbled, yelled, punished & disciplined our brains out....nothing has worked. For those of you who have laid back, easy going kids....you have NO idea the thoughts that go through a parents head when all they have done, FAILS!
Yes, you feel like you are a failure...a FAILURE!! The thought of going through 18 years of this kind of life is enough to send you to the loony bin (WILLINGLY)!!
So, I will tell you this....I have said over and over to others and to my child (because she has asked) that I would NOT homeschool her!! I struggled just to get her to do her homework on nights that she came home with that!! I struggled to get her to brush her teeth, get dressed, do simple chores...heck, I struggled to get her to eat a meal @ the table without pitching such a big fit that no one actually wanted to sit and eat with her! By struggled I mean DAILY...telling her, talking to her, coaxing her, grounding her, yelling at her...anything I could think of (short of bribing her) to do the things that she needed to do/learn as a toddler/child! DAILY!!!!
So, as you may be able to imagine, when she was out of the house at school the home was a lot more peaceful. There wasn't this constant feeling of anger (hers and ours) floating around. There wasn't the stress, there wasn't the turmoil...until it was time for her to come home. I would then find myself tensing up...almost like I was putting on my armor to deal with the arguments, the whining, the fights, the talking back. It does not make for a pleasant house/home when you feel you have to gird yourself with armor, just to make it through a day!
The Man of the Frumpy House and I were at our wits end...we had no more to give. We thought we'd just move out and let her be her own boss...heheh! Then he found a video at our local library! It was checked out and brought home, hoping that we would be able to watch it and find some help...please, Lord any help!! Because, boarding school was sounding quite doable about that time....they do have a work exchange program for elementary boarders don't they?!?!
To be Continued.....
We welcomed a beautiful, big headed (I don't mean inflated ego here, I mean LITERALLY a big head) bald, blue eyed 8 lb 3 oz little girl into our family. Well, she basically made us a family, instead of just a couple.
The "troubles" didn't start until about 8 months...I kid you not! She was wanting to walk so badly, she would toddle around the furniture and such, but she just couldn't quite GO! So, being the great mom and dad that we were we would hold her little hands and just walk her all over the apartment. For what seemed HOURS! The back-breaking effort was taking it's toll, so we bought a push toy...that would give us some relief...or so we thought.
The beautiful, little girl did NOT want to push the toy around and toddle on her way around the apartment...oh no! That, dear readers, would've been the end of the story if our darling daughter didn't take this opportune time to display....her stubborn side! She laid herself down right on the floor behind that push toy and kicked her chubby little legs, and pounded her round little fists and cried her big head off!! NOT JOKING FOLKS!! At 8 months old, my darling, giggling, smiling little daughter threw a temper tantrum!
I looked at this
Fast forward to this time and place...my oldest is still beautiful, big headed (more so ego now), blonde curled and the biggest blue eyes. She has spent the first 8 years of her life teaching us that we do have the strength, with God's blessed help, to do this parenting thing! We haven't always done it willingly (I think I've threatened the Mister with running away more than she's threatened us), or well...but we have done it!
We have read, listened to, researched online and questioned other parents about how to deal with strong willed, defiant, intelligent (oh, yes she is) & mouthy children. We have cried, grumbled, yelled, punished & disciplined our brains out....nothing has worked. For those of you who have laid back, easy going kids....you have NO idea the thoughts that go through a parents head when all they have done, FAILS!
Yes, you feel like you are a failure...a FAILURE!! The thought of going through 18 years of this kind of life is enough to send you to the loony bin (WILLINGLY)!!
So, I will tell you this....I have said over and over to others and to my child (because she has asked) that I would NOT homeschool her!! I struggled just to get her to do her homework on nights that she came home with that!! I struggled to get her to brush her teeth, get dressed, do simple chores...heck, I struggled to get her to eat a meal @ the table without pitching such a big fit that no one actually wanted to sit and eat with her! By struggled I mean DAILY...telling her, talking to her, coaxing her, grounding her, yelling at her...anything I could think of (short of bribing her) to do the things that she needed to do/learn as a toddler/child! DAILY!!!!
So, as you may be able to imagine, when she was out of the house at school the home was a lot more peaceful. There wasn't this constant feeling of anger (hers and ours) floating around. There wasn't the stress, there wasn't the turmoil...until it was time for her to come home. I would then find myself tensing up...almost like I was putting on my armor to deal with the arguments, the whining, the fights, the talking back. It does not make for a pleasant house/home when you feel you have to gird yourself with armor, just to make it through a day!
The Man of the Frumpy House and I were at our wits end...we had no more to give. We thought we'd just move out and let her be her own boss...heheh! Then he found a video at our local library! It was checked out and brought home, hoping that we would be able to watch it and find some help...please, Lord any help!! Because, boarding school was sounding quite doable about that time....they do have a work exchange program for elementary boarders don't they?!?!
To be Continued.....
Oh my .. you have my sympathies! I await with baited breath for the next message!
ReplyDeleteVickie